I have been feeling a bit sad, or rather, nostalgic lately. Recently we decided nearly 99% that we are finished having kids. We like having our family of four, and I have no desire to be pregnant or deal with a newborn anytime in the foreseeable future.
Though I am comfortable with our decision, I keep getting pangs of sadness now that Jacob has turned two and is transitioning into new experiences. Two weeks ago, our Gymboree sessions ended, and I realized I was not ever going back. No more dancing with Gymbo or shaking and stopping the parachute. Unless I have another baby or a birthday party, there is no reason to go to Musikids or Gymboree ever again. Suddenly, it struck me as a big life transition. I am the mom of two boys, not babies.
In just a few short years, or year, weekends will be filled with soccer games and getting homework done on Sunday nights. Jacob starts preschool next month, and though I am excited for him, I suddenly feel unsure about my baby leaving the nest.
As one friend commented last night, it is not that things go downhill from here, it is just that they are different hills. I really like that analogy. The baby/preschool years have definitly felt like a hill we've been climbing, and now Nate is nearly finished and Jacob is halfway up the hill. I like feeling that there are many more hills to climb as a family rather than plateauing out.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Things that make ya go 'hmmmm'
Usually I try not be a judgemental parent. I will admit it, I fail about 50% of the time. By judgemental, I, of course, mean judging other parents, not my own children! It is catty and a waste of time, but it is every new (by new I mean within 5 years) parent's favorite activity.
"Did you see how they dressed their son! No hat, and it is 65 degrees out!"
"I can't believe they hired that nanny, I would NEVER let my kids play with her. She is not bilingual!"
Often the judgements are made by very new parents of babies under a year old. They are sure they will NEVER give out lollipops to get a few minutes of extra quiet grocery shopping time. Or will never let their kids eat only chicken nuggets three times a day.
Tonight I had a moment of judgement, and I feel badly, because perhaps the parents had a really good reason, but I just can't see it.
Our favorite Sunday night dinner is an all-you-can-eat Kaitan sushi bar in Bethesda. For one price (kids 4 & under eat Free!), you can pull off plates of food moving along a conveyor belt and get sushi, fruit, edamame, tempura etc... The boys LOVE it, because they love sushi and the food moves by train. Could life get any better?
So tonight, we walked in, and there was another family with two young boys (sitting at our usual table I might add), and both boys had their own portable DVD players they were using to watch shows. I shrugged it off, thinking it was a pretty good, if extravangant, table toy to occupy them till their food arrived. (often parents don't do the conveyor and order chicken teriyaki for kids, if the kids don't have educated palates like my darlings).
The boys food never arrived. They ate no food except random bites of rice the parents occasionally shoved in their mouths. I will say the boys were nicely behaved and quiet. The parents got to eat and have adult conversation. But, as Matt pointed out, they could have /should have stayed home and done delivery sushi if they wanted sushi that badly.
Our boys know how to eat in a restaurant because we practice that behavior. We eat out a minimum of 1 time a week, and rarely in a "kid" restaurant. We go at 5:00, are usually alone in the restaurant, but they learn to sit, order food, wait, and eat with table manners.
Obviously, it is not always beautifully executed. Sake Club will need to dry clean their seat cushions (if not replace), we have broken at least 3 glasses at Matuba, the juke box at American City Diner has maple syrup in it, Dino has a rainbow of crayon markings on their table, and the list goes on, but the majority of the time, I feel confident going to a restaurant, because I set my expectation high. Reasonable, but high.
I expect my children to sit down at the table, choose between 1-2 options I present from the menu, talk or color quietly till the food arrives, and eat nicely once it does. I actually hate when waiters do us a "favor" and bring the kids food first. This just means they eat and are finished, leaving me to wolf down my food when they are clamoring to leave.
By setting the bar low and expecting your children to not be able to sit at a table and eat interesting food without the help of a DVD, I can't see how they will ever manage the task. That's just my judgemental 2 cents.
"Did you see how they dressed their son! No hat, and it is 65 degrees out!"
"I can't believe they hired that nanny, I would NEVER let my kids play with her. She is not bilingual!"
Often the judgements are made by very new parents of babies under a year old. They are sure they will NEVER give out lollipops to get a few minutes of extra quiet grocery shopping time. Or will never let their kids eat only chicken nuggets three times a day.
Tonight I had a moment of judgement, and I feel badly, because perhaps the parents had a really good reason, but I just can't see it.
Our favorite Sunday night dinner is an all-you-can-eat Kaitan sushi bar in Bethesda. For one price (kids 4 & under eat Free!), you can pull off plates of food moving along a conveyor belt and get sushi, fruit, edamame, tempura etc... The boys LOVE it, because they love sushi and the food moves by train. Could life get any better?
So tonight, we walked in, and there was another family with two young boys (sitting at our usual table I might add), and both boys had their own portable DVD players they were using to watch shows. I shrugged it off, thinking it was a pretty good, if extravangant, table toy to occupy them till their food arrived. (often parents don't do the conveyor and order chicken teriyaki for kids, if the kids don't have educated palates like my darlings).
The boys food never arrived. They ate no food except random bites of rice the parents occasionally shoved in their mouths. I will say the boys were nicely behaved and quiet. The parents got to eat and have adult conversation. But, as Matt pointed out, they could have /should have stayed home and done delivery sushi if they wanted sushi that badly.
Our boys know how to eat in a restaurant because we practice that behavior. We eat out a minimum of 1 time a week, and rarely in a "kid" restaurant. We go at 5:00, are usually alone in the restaurant, but they learn to sit, order food, wait, and eat with table manners.
Obviously, it is not always beautifully executed. Sake Club will need to dry clean their seat cushions (if not replace), we have broken at least 3 glasses at Matuba, the juke box at American City Diner has maple syrup in it, Dino has a rainbow of crayon markings on their table, and the list goes on, but the majority of the time, I feel confident going to a restaurant, because I set my expectation high. Reasonable, but high.
I expect my children to sit down at the table, choose between 1-2 options I present from the menu, talk or color quietly till the food arrives, and eat nicely once it does. I actually hate when waiters do us a "favor" and bring the kids food first. This just means they eat and are finished, leaving me to wolf down my food when they are clamoring to leave.
By setting the bar low and expecting your children to not be able to sit at a table and eat interesting food without the help of a DVD, I can't see how they will ever manage the task. That's just my judgemental 2 cents.
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