Friday, July 14, 2006

tinntinitis

My darling Jacob is funny, cute and very smart. I love watching him explore his world and kissing his cheekers. However, around 5:00 pm every night for the past few months I would happily toss him down the basement steps and lock the door, and I dont even believe in spanking.

Poor, Poor Jacob begins to shriek and sob while I try to cook dinner and it continues until bath time. Nothing consoles him except me picking him up and resting his head on my shoulder. Obviously, I just love to do this as I attempt to cook dinner, set the table and occupy Nate. It got so bad the other night, Nate put his head on the table and whimpered then asked to go to school where no one screamed.

I am at wits end. I have tried adusting his nap- perhaps he is getting to much sleep to close to dinner. I have tried giving him a snack before dinner, perhaps he got too hungry. I have tried ignoring him, eventually he would stop right? Wrong? 45 minutes he went until I could not take it anymore and had to pick him up. He stood at my legs the whole time, hanging on as I made dinner. I can't wear him in a sling; my back still has not recovered from pregnancy.

I took him to the doctor, perhaps there is something very wrong? Nothing obvious, and I am not subjecting him to a spinal tap to check for West Nile Virus.


HElp! Help! Any ideas? I know he will out grow this, but meanwhile our family is miserable at dinner.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

fitting in

I think we all remember our tween years with anxiety. For some of us it is with a shudder if we were not in the In crowd, and for those of us who were in the In crowd, one may shudder remembering how precarious a position we held. Pre-teens are vicious.

My sons are 4 & 1 respectively, so I clearly have some time to worry about social pressures, but even at their young ages, I can already see things forming and am wondering how or should I attempt to mold them.

For example, all of Nate's friends signed up for soccer practice together one day a week. Nate was pretty clear in his lack of desire to attend, so I did not sign him up. However, I can see special friendships and athletic ability emerging out of that class. Will this have long-term repercussions for my son who may be better placed in a science or computer class?

As an adult, it is easier not to worry. I know my son will find his place in the world and get comfortable in his skin. The fabulous, interesting and often handsome men I worked with in previous jobs were definitly not in popular sport cliques in high-school. They found their way in college and went on to MBAs and C-level positions. However, there are a lot of intervening years of social anxiety and angst.

I am just wondering what my role as a parent is. Obviously, I will support my son in anything (well, nearly anything, if he chops up another human, I will NOT help him escape to Israel). But what can I do to ease his path through the treacherous middle school years. Should I sign him up for sports classes? Or steer his interest to science and nature, which is already strong? I think I will offer a smorgasboard and let him select when he is older.

I do think sports are important and I played basketball and volleyball throughout high school. The competition and athleticism are important to me. I am fine if he does a non-traditional sport such as martial arts or skateboarding or swimming. I just dont know how to help him find his niche?