My mom and I were chatting tonight and we got into the conversation about what my children call different adults. I realized that I nearly always introduce my children to other adult's by their first names. All of my friends children call me Linda. I can't imagine being called Mrs. Heller. Nate calls all his friend's Moms by their first names.
I read somewhere that your childhood rules are usually the best indicator for whether you will be more formal or casual when it comes to children and adult names. Why then am I, who grew up calling all adults Mr. or Mrs. S0 & So, totally casual when it comes to kids calling me Linda or introducing adults by their first names to my children. To this day, I still call my parent's friends Mr. and Mrs., despite the fact that I have known many of them for more than 30 years and consider them as dear as family.
I could not come up with any strong reason, but then I realized that the majority of my friends do not share last names with their children. Most (keep in mind there is no scientific polling data behind this statement) women these days are getting married later into their professional careers, and do not take their husband's last name. So, when they have children, the children have their father's last name. In some cases, the child has a combination of last names of hyphenated.
It is hard enough to keep track of all the first names, let alone instruct Nate to "say hello to your friend Benjamin Schwartz and his mom, Mrs. Rosenstein." I think for clarity and sanity, we have made an unspoken pact to simplify by giving everyone only one name, their first.
What do you do among your circle of friends? First or last names? Do you prefer more formality.
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3 comments:
I use the Miss "first name" and Mister "first name" nomenclature, myself. Every time someone calls me "Mrs. Kohn" I look around for your mother!
And don't get me started with the people who have their kids call me "Aunt Jami" when I'm not in any way related to them. Drives me nuts! I'm already a legitimate aunt to two wonderful boys (who are patiently waiting for that box of gifts - I swear I'll send it!), I don't need their kids too!
We currently go with first names, because our friend's kids are all young. When they get a little older, though, we'll be requesting that they call us by our last names (Mr. & Mrs.).
Except, we think, for our close friends and godchildren. We haven't figured out those yet.
Zankman, not Buckman.
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